I thought I safely held my secret. I thought I had it down, deep down, out of sight and out of reach. I thought my facade was impenetrable...
And then I went to the dentist.
It was my initial visit with a new dentist. The dentist was located on Flagler Drive in downtown Palm Beach. The office felt serene as it had a serene view of the intracoastal. I felt comfortable there. The staff was attentive and kind. I knew I had some issues going on with my teeth; I already had a couple crowns post a couple of root canals. For a short period of time, the Atlantic ocean became my center of attention.
And then my name was called.
I sat in the half reclined chair, hesitant to lie back. I was in the company of a good looking middle aged dentist and his female nurse who seemed to be in her mid-30's. They put that typical dental bib around my neck and I lied back.
Doc said, "Let me just take a look, ok?"
Me: "Um... okay."
A few glances later, Doc sat up and put down his mirror instrument. He asked his nurse to step out for just a minute.
Doc said, "Question... do you throw up a lot?"
(insert the gasp of all gasps)
...caught. He caught me. My dentist caught me and he totally called me out.
......tears. Tears came without my permission. I didn't answer him. I didn't have to.
.........caught. He caught me. My dentist caught me and he totally called me out.
My secret, the one I thought I had safely hidden, revealed. And all I did was say "ahhh..."
I spent quite a bit of time at this dentist's office. I also spent quite a bit of money at this dentist's office.
After 3 root canals, 2 crowns and 1 temporary crown, I maxed out my credit card and my pride. So, I quit.
Well, I haven't been to the dentist since that dentist. It's been about 2 years since I stared out into the intracoastal at that office. That temporary crown is still there, well, sort of... it's pretty worn. So still is my pride. But, I have decided to bite the crowned bullet.
I have a dentist appointment next week. I can only imagine what he will think of the view of my teeth. I wonder if he, too, will call me out on my purging history. As weird as this is, I want him to. I want him to call me out and to ask me if I throw up often. I want to say "NOT ANYMORE."
....to be continued post new dentist appt.