Recently, I realized...I eat a TON of carbs! Sure, most of them are healthy...wheat bread, organic "protein" bars, granola bars, oatmeal (and more oatmeal), fruit (and lots more fruit), high fiber english muffins, etc. Ya know what all of these carbs have in common? They are all SWEET and/or CHEWY.
Sweet, chewy & smooth...That is my & her definition for COMFORT. When I am nervous, sad, celebrating, lonely, bored...carbs are for comfort. This comfort source is not as reliable as she and I would hope... I need a healthier supply of comfort.
I have decided to do a sort of carbohydrate-detox. Most would know it as a South Beach diet or Atkins diet. No carbs, 2 weeks. I'm on day 4. I have always been a primarily night-time binger. The last couple nights, I have thought about wanting to eat when I was not hungry at all just for comfort and to diminish the start of her obsessive thought process. What did she want?...carbs. But, I am not eating carbs. So, no binge. Cheese or a hard boiled egg didn't sound great or comforting to her like a chewy "protein" bar or a toasted english muffin with natural peanut butter...so, I didn't eat. I brushed my teeth and I went to bed happy that I didn't eat just to eat, just to chew, just to taste, just to "comfort".
Some people will not agree with this no-carb thing... as purely a diet, I do not agree either. But, I am trying to make a point to myself, to her. Eating to live, not the alternative...the alternativeo of chewing just to chew, tasting just to taste, eating just to eat, thinking about what to eat & what not to eat, what I should eat or should't eat...
Eating to live, not THAT alternative... That's all I want to do...I don't want to live to eat for comfort. I just want to live...eat to live.